Why Not Me? - A Battle Fought Well

Two and a half years ago I had challenged myself to write something on this blog everyday for a month. Anything. It didn’t matter how shallow or deep the message was…just write.

In the midst of that month our family received the news that my dad was diagnosed, and began his battle with, stage four kidney cancer.

As I write this today, that battle is coming to a close. It is looking more and more like my dad has days, if not hours, before he breaths his last and enters into the arms of his eternal father. I write this to reflect on the words he said when he started this journey, “Why not me?”

For those who have gone through or that are going through cancer I have some perspectives that have come from this first week into our new normal.

I’m kind of unsure how to handle these comments:
I’m so sorry
This sucks
But what I do know is that people process the news of cancer different, and I will leave it at that and respect their processing this as well.

My daughter in law’s mom fought with cancer twice and won her battle when she stepped into God’s arms 15 years ago.
Deb Meschke was asked “why you, why not someone else?”

Deb’s reply?
”Why not me?”

I’m with Deb.
I know where my eternity will end up.
I still have a fight to give...so bring it on.
There is still a message to tell others about a life with Christ (notice I never said a Christ like life because mine has not been at times).
My family is strong enough to go through this with me, so why not me?

There is a song I posted on my Facebook page that is more like a constant chorus and part of the lyric goes like this.....
”It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by you“

Isn’t that a cool perspective to see our struggles?

This past weeks messages from others, have truly been felt in the peace I have.
Thank you all for such a strong gift of assurance that this fight is not my own to take on alone.

This attitude has never changed once in the past two and a half years. Even as our earthly hope in my dad’s body being healed slipped from our fingers, we have been able to hold fast to the hope we have that he is about to have a new and perfect body. And even though we still have tears to shed as a family, my dad is about to experience the full measure of joy and perfection.

Even as death has surrounded him, I pray he has gotten a small taste of what heaven will be like by his family surrounding him this week. It has been beautiful to see family surround him and care for him, pray for him, reminisce over the man he was, or even something as simple as holding his hand while he sleeps. It has been humbling watching my sister become his nurse and care for him with my mom. It has been heart breaking, yet wonderful, to watch my mom at his side as everything she has ever known is about to leave her for something eternally better.

My dad fought hard. He fought with faith, dignity, and grace. He has lost this earthly battle - as we all will someday - but will inherit eternity in the process.

As my family prepares to enter into this time of mourning, I think he would say to us, “Why not you?” Why not use this suffering to show others the hope we have, and the hope they also can experience? You know where your strength comes from…so use it!

Our family is forever grateful for the prayers and support we have received from you all. This may be a sad and painful process for our family, but this will be a joyous start to eternity for my dad. Our prayer is that each of you will some day experience that same joy.