What I Do When I Don't Want to Write - Daily Ramblings - July 9, 2018

What do I do when I don't want to write? I write.

This morning is one of those mornings. I don't feel like I have anything profound to say. Or I wonder if anyone will even read it. I have so many excuses that arise within me which argue for me to take a break. 

Why do I write? That is the question I always have to remind myself of. Do I write for the praise of others or because I feel like there is someone who will be inspired through my writing? If I'm honest with myself I can think that is why, but those are also the reasons which make me not want to write on a day like today. When my focus is on the external I fail to do what I know needs to be done. This can be true for everything I undertake in life.

So why do I write then? I write because I feel it is a skill I need to practice. I may not have anything profound to say today to a non-existent audience, but that doesn't mean that this will always be the case. So I write to hone my craft. I also write to maintain discipline. I have failed in so many areas of my life for lacking self discipline. For not doing what was right because doing what was right was hard at the time. Writing is an outlet for me to maintain discipline on the days I feel like doing the easy thing. Lastly, I write because I want to be authentic. I want to document the the highs and the lows in my life. I want to look back on a day like today and be reminded that I am capable of doing what I need to when I don't want to do it. I want others to see that it is OK to feel lost, and with what seems like no direction, but then still take a step forward. It may be the wrong step, or a bad step, but a step is better than no step. I can learn from failure, but I can't learn from inaction.

So today I put one foot in front of the other and write. It may be ugly, but at least I'm moving forward.