Life as a House

“Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” – Luke 6:47-49

The end of last year I entered into one of the darkest times of my life. A self-inflected season in life which taught me much about what I truly believe. As I began to think about this belief things became clearer to me. As this happened I was able to create an analogy which has been helpful for me. It may be a cheesy analogy, but I want to share it with you in hopes that it will help you as much as it has helped me. Here it goes:

I have come to picture life as a house. A house being made up of three essential things: the foundation, the structure built upon the foundation, and the furnishings within the house. When it comes to life, our metaphorical house is made up of the following three parts: theology as the foundation, philosophy as the structure, and our habits and rituals are the furnishings.

The Foundation: Theology

First we need to ask ourselves, “What is theology?” Simply put, theology is “the study of the nature of God and religious beliefs” or “the critical study of the nature of the divine”. More broadly, theology is an individual’s worldview. When someone comes to a belief on such things as “the meaning of life”, origins of life, morals, and so on, they are operating out of their worldview, or theology.

I know a few of you are already saying, “I don’t believe in God. Therefore I don’t have a theology.” To which I would say, “I disagree!” If you have come to the conclusion that a god doesn’t exists then you have studied the world in such a way to come to that conclusion. You didn’t come to believe that gravity exists because someone told you, or because you thought it up yourself. You came to that belief by observing how the law of gravity works or through schooling. Even then, as you age that belief becomes more solidified through further observation, situations, and/or schooling.

The same is true when it comes to your belief – or lack of belief – in the divine. Through observation and/or study you have come to your beliefs on how life functions at its core. This belief becomes your worldview in which your life operates. It is your foundation.

So can the foundation be changed? Sure, but usually at the expense of the entire home. To replace a foundation means to destroy or remove the home on top of the old foundation and rebuild on top of the new foundation. If you go from not believing in God, to believing in God, the way in which you view and live your life will change. This is also true if you move from believing in God to becoming an atheist.

Regardless of your theological belief, it is important to maintain a firm foundation if you want to live a stable and fulfilling life.

The Structure: Philosophy

What is philosophy then? Philosophy comes from the Greek word phílosophía, meaning “the love of wisdom”. It is the study of knowledge, or “thinking about thinking”. The dictionary defines it as, “the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline”.

Just like theology, everyone has some sort of philosophy. This is how you believe life should be lived. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” and “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” are theological teachings, but how you go about fulfilling them is a philosophical one. If your neighbor comes upon rough times because of their poor actions what do you do? You may have the theological belief of loving your neighbor as you do yourself, but one person may believe that hardship is one of life’s best teachers and that their neighbor should only be offered encouragement to make it through, while another person might believe that loving their neighbor means giving whatever they can of their time and resources to help their neighbor through a difficult time. So who is right? I don’t know. “Loving your neighbor” is where the theological belief ends and where your philosophical beliefs start.

The important thing here is that your philosophy matches your theology. I don’t know about you, but I have never seen a house which was not built in a way to match its foundation. Could it be done? Possibly, but the structure or the foundation will be damaged over time.

Unlike theology, philosophy can be added to or subtracted from, but it still comes at a cost. Adding an addition onto your home not only takes time, but takes a lot of resources as well. Philosophy can be similar. You may slowly add to your “philosophical structure” over time, but this usually comes with much study and scrutiny. It is a worthy endeavor to do, but it will take work.

Let me give you an example from my own life. I hold to a biblical theology. Part of that theology speaks about not worry about the future. Even as God provides for the small sparrow, so will he provide for my needs. The bible also talks about how once you believe in Jesus as your savior that you are a new creation. The old you has passed away.

Here is the reality of that though; I have a tendency to live in the past and worry about the future. I worry about what will happen to me or my family. I also like to relive my past and wallow in my shortcomings and failures. The bible does give some practical philosophy on this, but it is generally very broad.

For me, the Stoic philosophy has helped me to live out my theological beliefs much better. I will state up front that I don’t agree with every tenet in Stoicism, but a large portion of Stoic philosophy gives practical ways on how to put the past to death, and not worry about what the future holds. This is the great thing about philosophy; it is not a religion. You don’t have to believe fully with a philosopher’s teaching. You can pick and choose from those teachings, but it should match up with your theological foundation.

The Furnishings: Habits and rituals

Home furnishings are the things which enhance – or detract – from the beauty of the home. They are the things which make a house a home. Have you ever been house hunting before? If so, there are usually two scenarios you will come across. You will view houses in which people still live and as you walk room to room you will see things that you like and dislike. You get ideas on what you would do if this was your house, or attempt to visualize what each room would look like with your furnishings in them. You will also view empty houses. A blank slate for you to imagine what living in that house will be like. In either case your imagination on what your possessions will look like in that house is constrained by the structure of the home.

Have you ever gone house hunting and imagined what Michelangelo’s David or da Vinci’s Mona Lisa would look like in that house? Of course not! I would even argue that masterpieces like that would detract from the house. You imagine the things that are realistic to you. Our habits and rituals should be the same way. It is very easy to look at someone in whose footprints we would like to follow, and want to do the same things they do. We want to find out when they wake up and go to bed, how much they read, or how often and how long they workout. It is easy to think that if we figure out the habits and rituals they have, that we will be able to follow them as a recipe for success.

The problem is that none of our homes – our lives – are the same as someone else’s. We have built them differently to match the way we see the world. Even if the foundation of a house is identical to another, the structure itself is usually slightly different to make it unique. Our furnishings will also be different to enhance the homes we live in.

So how do the habits and rituals we have affect our theology and philosophies? Have you ever been in a home that is beautiful from the outside, but the inside is neglected? Maybe the home owner rarely cleans and mold is starting to spread through the walls. Maybe they have a cat that has consistently peed in the corners of different rooms. The walls and floors are starting to rot from the negligence. Over time the structure becomes weakened and it begins to put stress upon the foundation. You see, just as the foundation is critical to the creation of a home, the way we treat that home can begin to erode that same foundation over time.

The same is true if we give our habits and rituals the attention they deserve. We can catch rot before it spreads. We can keep the structure and foundation strong. If we do this all three areas will feed and strengthen each other.

Application

A few ways in which this has been helpful to me is by learning how to say “no”, and learning how to love myself more. It is very difficult for me to say no to things. I am the classic “Jack of all trades; master of none”. I enjoy trying and learning new things. By doing this there are times where I say yes to things which rob me of my strengths. As fun as it would be to own a masterpiece, it would not look good in my home. I have had to learn to say no to pretty fabulous things for the sake of my home. I want to challenge you to say no to the things which will detract from your home – no matter how wonderful they may be.

The second thing I want to challenge you on is to love yourself more. I’m not speaking of a narcissistic self-love. I talking about being able to look at your life and give yourself grace where you have fallen short, and be proud of the places you have excelled. I struggled (and still do many days) to feel worthy of anything good. I didn’t feel deserving of any good – as if I didn’t earn it – and I would treat it that way. My family and relationships suffered because of this. They didn’t feel loved by me because I didn’t think I was worthy of them. So I implore you to seek self-love. Noticed what needs fixed in your life, yes, but take time to appreciate the beauty and comfort of the home you have already made.

What does it mean to your life? In short, if you want to live a fulfilling life which is full of meaning and purpose, you need to get your home in shape. Make sure your foundation is solid by knowing what you truly believe theologically. From there constantly look at the philosophical views you hold and refine them over time to make your house sturdier. Lastly, discover the habits which will make your home the most beautiful it can be. Remember that you are unique and your habit will slightly different from others. Use others for inspiration and ideas, but make the habits and rituals your own.