My Reflection on "12 Rules for Life"
/Jordan Peterson has become a somewhat divisive figure over the past year, but there is no denying that his message that has been resonating with an ever growing audience. This post is my short reflection on Peterson's book, "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos".
If I had to summarize Peterson's message in two words it would be "fix yourself". We cannot attempt to fix the broken relationships around us, resolve conflict at work, or find peace in a divided country if we do not first identify what is broken in us, and work toward fixing that. Only then will we have a chance to tackle the issues that have been afflicting the human race since the beginning of time.
So what are Peterson's "12 Rules for Life"?
- Stand up straight with your shoulders back
- Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
- Make friends with people who want the best for you
- Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
- Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
- Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
- Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
- Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
- Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
- Be precise in your speech
- Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
- Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
Some of the "rules" are somewhat tongue in cheek, and I will let you read the book in order to get the details.
This book came at a great time in my life. The past few months I have been depressed as I am entering into a transition period of life. Many things have been accumulating which are both exciting, and yet overwhelming. This year my oldest son is entering into high school, while our youngest will be starting Kindergarten. My wife will be reentering the workforce. Our two adopted children have adapted well to life in our family and community. I have had the opportunity to reflect on things in my own life and now feel at at crossroads as to what path I should take. I am not depressed in a way that makes me sad or unproductive, but rather depressed in a way where it is difficult to find meaning in life. I find myself resonating with the author of Ecclesiastes when he says:
2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
3 What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
11 No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.
The funny thing is that I have nothing to be depressed about. My life is good. I am blessed far more than I deserve. And yet it all seems meaningless...and that's ok! It is an opportunity to find meaning. To find purpose! It is the start of a journey!
"12 Rules" was a helpful resource as I set off on that journey. I know it is common sense, but it helped articulate two things as I enter into this pivotal part of my life: 1) The world is full of suffering (sometimes self inflected) and even if I am not suffering I surly know someone who is, and 2) If I want the world to be a better place I must first start with myself. I can spend all my time blaming people, circumstances, and systems, or I can take charge of my Being in spite of it all.
"12 Rules" is a book I will be turning over in my head for quite a while. It is a book full of phycology, philosophy, history, and religion. It can be heady at times. I found myself starting to sink beneath the waves of Peterson's intellect only to be saved by a sentence or story which clarified it all. It is not an easy book to digest, but it is a book well worth the time.
I will leave you with Peterson's own reflections on his material. He sums up his book by asking himself, "what should I do with my [newfound knowledge]?" What follows is a series of questions he asks himself and the corresponding answers. It is my goal to discover how to apply this same knowledge as I set out on my journey. I think what is below is at least a good starting point!
Write down the words you want inscribed on your soul:
What shall I do tomorrow? The most good possible in the shortest period of time.
What shall I do next year? Try to ensure that the good I do then will be exceeded only by the good I do the year after that.
What shall I do with my life? Aim for Paradise, and concentrate on today.
Relationships with People:
What shall I do with my wife? Treat her as if she is the Holy Mother of God, so that she may give birth to the world-redeeming hero.
What shall I do with my daughter? Stand behind her, listen to her, guard her, train her mind, and let her know it’s OK if she wants to be a mother.
What shall I do with my parents? Act such that your actions justify the suffering they endured.
What shall I do with my son? Encourage him to be a true Son of God.
What shall I do with the stranger? Invite him into my house, and treat him like a brother, so that he may become one.
What shall I do with a fallen soul? Offer a genuine and cautious hand, but do not join it in the mire.
What shall I do with the world? Conduct myself as if Being is more valuable than Non-Being.
How shall I educate my people? Share with them those things I regard as truly important.
What shall I do with a torn nation? Stitch it back together with careful words of truth.
What shall I do for God my Father? Sacrifice everything I hold dear to yet greater perfection.
What shall I do with a lying man? Let him speak so that he may reveal himself.
How shall I deal with the enlightened one? Replace him with the true seeker of enlightenment.
Handling my own ingratitude:
What shall I do when I despise what I have? Remember those who have nothing and strive to be grateful.
What shall I do when greed consumes me? Remember that it is truly better to give than to receive.
What shall I do when I ruin my rivers? Seek for the living water and let it cleanse the Earth.
Proper response to crisis and exhaustion:
What shall I do when my enemy succeeds? Aim a little higher and be grateful for the lesson.
What shall I do when I’m tired and impatient? Gratefully accept an outstretched helping hand.
What shall I do with the fact of aging? Replace the potential of my youth with the accomplishments of my maturity.
What shall I do with my infant’s death? Hold my other loved ones and heal their pain.
What shall I do in the next dire moment? Focus my attention on the next right move.
Development of character:
What shall I say to a faithless brother? The King of the Damned is a poor judge of Being.
What shall I do to strengthen my spirit? Do not tell lies, or do what you despise.
What shall I do to ennoble my body? Use it only in the service of my soul.
What shall I do with the most difficult of questions? Consider them the gateway to the path of life.
What shall I do with the poor man’s plight? Strive through right example to lift his broken heart.
What shall I do when the great crowd beckons? Stand tall and utter my broken truths.